I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
