yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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