the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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