I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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