honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
it was like his penis was on wheels.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
