He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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