He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize