I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize