You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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