he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
jump out the window naked night went bad
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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