Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
