so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
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