Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
