Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
