We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
