im drinking this country out of the recession.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
