I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
