he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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