so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
