I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Randomize
