It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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