are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
my shit smells like andre
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Randomize
