Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
