I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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