theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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