I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Randomize
