dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
