His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
