i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
