Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Randomize
