Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
