it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
