ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Randomize
