I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Randomize
