yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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