i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
