Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Randomize
