i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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