So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
