If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
