Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
