Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
