I wish I could punch you in the face.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
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