I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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