is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
