It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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