i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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