She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
