I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
