i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
There r osticjed everywhere
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
