ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
