I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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