I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
