What a fucking waste of an outfit
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
As shirtless as possible
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
