Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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