Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
